'We will all live in Washington, D.C.'

My colleague Hank Stuever loaned me Richard Rodriguez's essay collection "Darling." I'm glad he did. The whole thing is excerptable, which means the whole thing is dang good, so read it. Below is one passage from a 2009 piece called "Final Edition" that laments the death of newspapers (I know, I know) and finds God's architecture in a paperboy's route. Though Rodriguez is guilty of tweaking a pet peeve of mine  conflating Washington the city of people and Washington the political morass  he somehow makes curmudgeonliness and antiquarianism seem vanguard and, more importantly, correct.

Something funny I have noticed  perhaps you have noticed it, too. You know what futurists and online-ists and cut-out-the-middle-man-ists and Davos-ists and deconstructionists of every stripe want for themselves? They want exactly what they tell you you no longer need, you pathetic, overweight, disembodied Kindle reader. They want white linen tablecloths on trestle tables in the middle of vineyards on soft blowy afternoons. (You can click your bottle of wine online. Cheaper.) They want to go shopping on Saturday afternoons on the Avenue Victor Hugo; they want the pages of their New York Times all kind of greasy from croissant crumbs and butter at a café table in Aspen; they want to see their names in hard copy in the "New Establishment" issue of Vanity Fair; they want a nineteenth-century bookshop; they want to see the plays in London; they want to float down the Nile in a felucca; they want five-star bricks and mortar and Do Not Disturb signs and views of the park. And in order to reserve these things for themselves they will plug up your eyes and your ears and your mouth, and if they can figure out a way to pump episodes of "The Simpsons" through the darkening corridors of your brain as you expire (ADD TO SHOPPING CART), they will do it.

We will end up with one and a half cities in America. Washington, D.C., and "American Idol." We will all live in Washington, D.C., where the conversation is a droning, never advancing debate between "conservatives" and "progressives." We will not read about newlyweds. We will not read about the death of salesmen. We will not read about prize Holsteins or new novels. We are a nation dismantling the structures of intellectual property and all critical apparatus. We are a nation of Amazon reader responses ("Moby Dick" is "not a really good piece of fiction" — Feb. 14, 2009, by Donald J. Bingle, Saint Charles, IL, USA — two stars out of five). We are without obituaries, but the famous will achieve immortality by a Wikipedia entry.

National newspapers will try to impersonate local newspapers that are dying or dead. (The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal publish San Francisco editions.) We live in the America of USA Today, which appears, unsolicited, in a plastic chrysalis suspended from your doorknob at the Nebraska Holiday Inn or the Maine Marriott. We check the airport weather. We fly from one CNN Headline News monitor to another. We end up where we started.

An obituary does not propose a solution.

Sand and stars

LAS VEGAS — Today I'm embarking on a 56-mile walk, from the atomic testing museum downtown to the Mercury exit of the Nevada National Security Site, a vast desert expanse where the United States conducted nearly 1,000 tests of nuclear bombs (99 of which were detonated above ground) from 1951 to 1992. The pocked earth is easily visible on Google Maps: 

I'm walking to shed some leg fat and reclaim my thigh gap. Jk. I'm tagging along on the Sacred Peace Walk organized by the Nevada Desert Experience, which anti-nuclear activist Sr. Megan Rice has been involved with over the years. Last spring I wrote about Sr. Megan and her two fellow activists' astonishing intrusion into the Y-12 National Security Complex in Tennessee, and two months ago capped the story with an epilogue about their sentencing. But why stop there? I'm here, on vacation technically, to gather some material for a related extracurricular project. I'll allow that to sound more mysterious than it actually is.

I bought new sneakers for the occasion. I really have no idea what I'm getting into. I just plan to follow everyone over the course of five days from Vegas to the perimeter of the test site, where on Holy Thursday we will wash each other's feet. Then on Good Friday I'll watch people re-enact a nuclear version of the Stations of the Cross and perform "ritual resistance," which will include the crossing of boundary lines and perfunctory arrests. We'll be sleeping in tents off the highway every night. I might turn my phone off for the duration, although spotty cell service and a lack of electricity might make it impossible to turn on eventually. This would be in keeping with the spirit of the thing, according to the pre-walk reading suggested by the Nevada Desert Experience.

In his "Pilgrimage through a Burning World," peace-studies professor Ken Butigan writes of the devastating holiness and "nothingness" of the desert, a "terrain of madness and devils." Walking great distances is a test; walking great distances in the desert is a contest, Butigan says, because in order to adapt mentally one must empty oneself of the hungers and worries of regular life. To put it more bluntly: "The desert doesn't give a damn," as theologian Belden C. Lane wrote in the journal Cross Currents in 1994. "Its capacity for indifference seems almost infinite. Precisely this sense of danger and disregard fed the spiritual vigor of early desert monasticism." I did some promiscuous underlining on a printout of his essay, which was titled "Desert Attentiveness, Desert Indifference": 

Much of popular contemporary piety is so individualistic and ego-centered, so prone to the cultivation of niceness, so disconnected from questions of justice, that it risks anything to avoid giving offense or making demands. The spiritual life of mainstream American churches and synagogues is eminently unexceptionable, generically inoffensive, culturally correct. We substitute amiability for friendship, agreeableness for dialogue, pleasantry for compassion. The acrid smell of the desert is lost. [...]

In a landscape where nothing officially exists ... absolutely anything becomes thinkable, and may consequently happen. [...]

The desert invites an ignoring of the ego [and] the rigorous ordering of one's desires.

And in a section of the essay titled "Learning to Pay Attention," which I might re-title "Reporting" for self-educational purposes, he says:

People who dwell in wilderness, living close to the land, often evince powers of attentiveness that seem magical by comparison to others. But the difference is only one of discipline. Most of us have little experience paying careful attention to anything. [...]

To move slowly and deliberately through the world, attending to one thing at a time, strikes us as radically subversive, even un-American. We cringe from the idea of relinquishing, in any moment, all but one of the infinite possibilities our culture offers us. Plagued by a highly diffused attention, we give ourselves to everything lightly. That is our poverty. In saying yes to everything, we attend to nothing. One can love only what one stops to observe. [...]

The practice of paying attention is the rarest of gifts because it depends upon the harshest of disciplines. So uncommon is it for us to grasp the beauty and mystery of ordinary things that — when we do so — it often brings us to the verge of tears. Appalled by our own poverty, we awake in wonder to a splendor of which we'd never dreamed.

Then, finally, in a section titled "Ignoring What Doesn't Matter," Lane explains the type of person who would make the Sacred Peace Walk:

...indifference properly understood can become a source of profoundly liberating power. Adopted as a discipline of ignoring what isn't important — in light of the truth of the gospel — it becomes a counter-cultural influence of great significance. People who pay attention to what matters most in their lives, and who learn to ignore everything else, assume a freedom that is highly creative as well as potentially dangerous in contemporary society. Having abandoned everything of insignificance, these are people not easily co-opted. They have nothing to lose.

This describes Sr. Megan and many of her fellow activists. I myself am not such a person. I'm a barnacle on their enterprise. An observer, a lurker. My convictions are not religious or spiritual but journalistic in nature, though you might argue that a journalist's search for truth is comparable to — even occasionally in cahoots with — an activist's crusade to spread truth, or her version of it. Anyway, I'm curious to see how the desert environment affects the act of reporting. I'm assuming I'll be taking as many notes on myself, as a foot soldier of materialism who is momentarily deprived of it, as I will on those other walkers who have nothing to lose.

In addition to a tent, a hat and a Nikon D7000, I'm bringing two books with me — Jonathan Schell's "The Fate of the Earth" and Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's "Wind, Sand and Stars" — though I don't know if I'll be able to stay awake in my tent after a day's walk to do any significant reading. I'm especially keen to read Saint-Exupéry, known to me heretofore as the author of "Le Petit Prince." In 1935 he crashed his plane in the Sahara Desert and, with scant supplies or water, spent four days hallucinating and wandering toward death until he was saved by a Bedouin. I'm just into the first chapter, and there's a stunning paragraph in which he silently addresses the surly, preoccupied bureaucrats on his bus route in Toulouse. "You have chosen," he writes, "not to be perturbed by great problems, having trouble enough to forget your own fate as man. You are not the dweller upon an errant planet and do not ask yourself questions to which there are no answers."

The Sacred Peace Walk is not a survivalist expedition by any means. It's an organized jaunt attended by a support team and support vehicles, and it all takes place on or alongside a highway, and a portable toilet is trailed behind a van that follows us the whole way. It will be nice, though, to read "Wind, Sand and Stars" on desert terrain, away from things that don't matter, nearer to nature's indifference, on an errant planet. To look down and see sand. To look up and see stars.

More to come. 


'Creative bumbling'

My first experience reading John McPhee was last month, when I devoured "The Curve of Binding Energy" and wondered what took me so long to discover him, so I was delighted to see his byline in the April 7 New Yorker on an essay titled "Elicitation." It's about reporting, note-taking, writing, getting it wrong and getting it right. Here are some choice lines that I have smuggled through the subscription wall:

Writing is selection. When you are making notes, you are forever selecting. I left out more than I put down. [...]

Who is going to care if you seem dumber than a cardboard box? Reporters call that creative bumbling.

On how much he prepares for an interview:

Candidly, not much. At a minimum, though, I think you should do enough preparation to be polite. [...]

I have no technique for asking questions. I just stay there and fade away as I watch people do what they do. [...]

Before, during and after an interview, or a series of interviews, do as much reading as the situation impels you to do. In the course of writing, you really find out what you don't know, and you read in an attempt to get it right. Nonetheless, you get it wrong, especially if you are an innumerate English major and you are writing about science.

I have not yet figured out why "The Curve of Binding Energy" works so well, or why its writing feels so fresh and bracing, but I suppose it's just a function of a man of letters creatively bumbling into a world of numbers, and being read by another English major.